“You ought to be a Peer Mediator!”

After spending so many years helping children learn how to listen effectively, demonstrate empathy and support each other through conflict, last year I finally decided it was time to take my own advice and train as a mediator. Fast forward to now, and we’ve just set up TARA Mediation.

And then, last week, I had one of those moments that makes you stop and think, “Yep… this is exactly the right path.”  I was delivering the first session of training for the newest cohort of Peer Mediators at Elmgrove Primary School and we were exploring one of the most important mediation skills of all: listening.

The children practised in pairs, starting with ‘bad listening’, which was hilarious - chaotic and very loud - before moving on to proper active listening. We talked about eye contact, body language, not interrupting, and then moved onto paraphrasing and why it matters so much in mediation. That feeling of being truly heard can completely change a conversation. Before they had a go themselves, I demonstrated paraphrasing with one of the children. Afterwards, I asked her how it felt. Her response completely made my day.

She said it made her feel like I had really listened to her, that I was really good at it… and that I ought to be a Peer Mediator! Honestly, I couldn’t stop laughing (inside). But, at the same time, it felt like the sweetest endorsement. After all the years of training children to become mediators, being told by a child that I’d make a good one felt pretty special.

Sometimes the best endorsements come from the smallest people!